When Considering Changing Schools: A School Psychologist’s Perspective

Change. The very word often stirs unease and feelings of uncertainty, fear, and doubt. Change means leaving behind the familiar and stepping into something new and unknown. And yet, it is precisely this “new” that can bring what we all seek for our child: safety, stability, a sense of belonging, and space for growth.

When change involves the decision to transfer a child to another school, the sense of responsibility becomes even deeper. Parents are then faced with questions that heighten anxiety:

“What if we’re making a mistake?”

“Will my child be able to adapt?”

“Maybe we should wait a little longer and see if things improve…”

These dilemmas are natural. And there is no universal answer. However, one thing is always worth keeping in mind: the ultimate goal - the child’s long-term well-being, emotional stability, and healthy development in an environment that sees them, understands them, and supports them.

Below are key guidelines that may help parents who are considering a school change. They don’t offer ready-made answers, but they open space for reflection and making thoughtful decisions when change becomes necessary.

1. Why are we even considering a change?

This is the question worth asking right from the start.

Is the change driven by the child’s needs or more by a parental impulse?

If the child experiences school with fear, sadness, or worry - and expresses that clearly through words or behavior - that’s a signal that shouldn’t be ignored. Children may not always know how to name emotions, but they show them through changes in behavior, physical symptoms, or withdrawal. Respecting a child’s emotions doesn’t mean giving up parental authority - on the contrary, it means truly listening.

Is the issue temporary or ongoing?

A single unpleasant situation, even if painful, may not be reason enough for a radical step. Learning resilience also includes staying in environments that aren’t always perfect. But when problems keep coming - without solutions, understanding, or support - then change is more than justified.

Is the concern about the level of learning or just the numerical value of grades? A sensitive but important question. If, despite effort, hard work, and evident skills and knowledge, your child is still not succeeding, it may be time to consider a different environment. It’s important to note: changing schools doesn’t guarantee better grades. However, a different approach to learning, greater understanding of individual needs, a more flexible curriculum, and a supportive environment can make a difference in your child’s development and experience of schooling. If, on the other hand, grades alone are the motivation for change - without looking at the bigger picture or realistically assessing your child’s needs and potential - the change is unlikely to bring the desired outcome.

Does the school recognize your child’s individuality? Children differ. Some seek challenge, others seek safety. Some learn quickly and independently, others need more time and support. The right school is not the “best” school - it’s the one that senses your child’s needs and responds to them. If you feel that kind of understanding is missing, it might be time to seek a new solution.

Is the change in school prompted by changes within the family? Moving, divorce, loss... Life sometimes brings circumstances we don’t choose. In such times, a carefully chosen school can become a new constant - a space of stability and belonging.

2. When is the right time to change schools?

Not every developmental stage is equally suited for major changes. Here are some general markers:

Lower primary grades (1st–2nd): Starting school is a major change in itself. The teacher plays a key role - not only in delivering knowledge but also as emotional support. If a change is needed, the best time is usually after some basic school experience has been established - most often between 2nd and 3rd grade.

Transition to subject-based teaching (4th–6th grade):

This is when children encounter multiple teachers, a new system, and increased demands. Some children thrive in this challenge, while others need more support. If a school change aligns with this phase, it can serve as a natural “reset” - but only if the child shows readiness.

Upper primary grades (7th–8th):

Changes at this stage are felt more intensely - not just because of school, but because of the internal upheaval of adolescence. A new environment can be a source of stress and insecurity, especially if the child already has an established circle of friends. If a change is truly necessary, it’s best done as early as possible in this phase to give the child time to adapt.

Regardless of developmental frameworks, there is one rule that goes beyond theory:

If the current environment is harmful to your child - emotionally, socially, or academically - then the right time to make a change is now.

“Look around you. Everything is changing. Everything on this Earth is constantly evolving, improving, adapting… So why are we afraid of change?”

- S. Maraboli